worst day ever... really...

today, when we cca gonna dismiss, we was playing "scare people" game

than i and rz keep tio scared by malik, like BOA!!!!! (something like that)

than i go walk around to find my bag, after i thought i recall my stupid memory, i go back to the place where me and rz tio scared, there was the place i put my bag.

i found out that malik was trying to scare stanley, than i felt that is fun

so i ask malik give me the chance, and i go scare him

propably stan knew it, he suddenly counter me (he was hiding at a corner)

he punched me, right on my left eye... cause it is really pain, i did cry...

i felt so embarrassed... i was abit angry with stanley, but i felt that i deserved it, is i wan scare him de, and his is my good friend, i dont have reason to angry, until everyone start to laugh

stan said that he never use his strength at all, and rz start to giggle with stanley, and everyone who saw me ask me what happened... i alr so embarrassed, i dont want other people to know it... than rz go tell everyone who asked that. hais...

than after that, rz finally say something right, he ask ppl to cheer me up and ask stan to apologize. but, stan nvr cheer me up at all, he says that he thought i was malik, he want to punch him de, and he said that he alr apologized. But he was apologize with he was luaghing, really dont give me face. and they started try to blame each other, malik blame stan that he shouldnt punch even though if is himself come out to scare him, and stan blame rz cause he started the laugh... (i dont know) and he says that although he got wrong, but only partly, he said i was malik so is not all fault. i really cannot take it, i never cry when zhang yi teasing me i am fat, when i lost my $, when i lost my wallet, not even when something happen to my relationship..

it really make me out of control. until now i still cant understand why i do that, i grab stanley, and ask him whether he want try it or not, cause he was teasing me by asking is that pain? than he answered: whatever, cause i was wanting to punch malik, i accidently punched you, what can i do? you want to punch me u punch lo.

i was really.... hais... i never feel that he was sorry to me, he keep laughing and giggling... propably they never try it before... the taste of getting embarrass inront of whole cca team, seniors, couch... heng we havent have junior. everyone saw you crying, just because of one punch, just like a crybaby...

but did they know, after that, was crying not because no one cheer me up, not because stan don want apologize properly, not because they blame each other... is because although we are same cca, we are good teammate... but NO ONE CARE MY SELF-RESPECT! EVEN MY BEST FRIEND RONGZHOU WAS GIGGLING! it really make me sad... just like a dog tio punched by others, and every1 was laughing at you cause you keep cry, and try to do something stupid...
i lost my respect from everyone... i not even a dog or cat...

after that, i try to calm myself down... i go back sch ask whether han go home liao, than eunice saw me with a red eye.. she asked did i cry? i never reply him, it was too embarrass for me to reply... so i just run away... after that, i go find yuan and stay with him until the cca fair ended, have a good time with cabin, keep shouted cabin rocks... i act i am really happy, like nothing happened.. i just dont want everyone to know this embarrass things, i just dont want to act sad and make other people pity me, i am not a dog, i can recover it myself, although is hard, i will try to manage it myself.

i have to make things clear:
i have a good time at cca fair, at least stay with yuan is fun, although i really cant overcome my that bad feeling.
i never blame anyone, cause i dont have the right.... i deserve it, just that i feel sad...

i really do not blame any1... i like all my fren...

sorry to talk sso much... i feel better after i write it out.

thanks for listen to my story.